the tragedy inside myself.

...

after reading my blog from long ago, i realized i certainly haven't changed at all.

but what has changed is that i've lost sight of myself.

two years. that's probably coincidentally how long it's been since i felt connection—with that one girl—who i used to keep tortured inside of me.

she was kind of magical. and brilliant.
and she wasn't at all afraid of asking for a head of lettuce.

i don't care to catch you up with the boring details that have attached to my life like lint. the story is this. i miss you. and i miss the way you made me feel about myself.

i've realized i'm afraid of a lot of things in life. but i'm not afraid of this.

so come beat me or vandalize me and kiss my mouth.
i need it back so i can remember how it felt.
how i felt.