18 months.

it has come to my attention that i am, like, really gayishly obsessed with you. in fact, the word u-haul comes to mind. omg. i can't help but judge myself a little.

but the moment i'm turning red or making a face about how ridiculous this all is - the next moment i'm ooohing and aaahing about my future loft. and your future man cave. in this supa fabulous dreamworld i live in.

shake it off.

the thing is - for some reason i think it's okay to feel this way. maybe it's not entirely a dream.

and this makes me question my sanity. are my feet on the ground? am i seeing straight? is this another round of vertigo, straight to the head?

i have no idea.

these are the things that i think about these days. i don't know if i will suddenly awake from this beautiful dream - only to find myself sitting beside my cat, alone - or if those 18 months will actually come.

monday morning.

"i cry out love, keep your arms around me
i am a bird that's in need of grounding."

i can't help but stare.

i feel like i'm at the edge with you. like i'm just about to discover some essential truth, but i have to keep going in order to get to it. that's how i feel when i think about you.

i want to live passionately
with you.

things that i need.

a little more me &
a little more you.

i think about you. every day. in some small way.
i write to you. in my sleep. in between rem cycles and lucid dreams.
i cling to you. when i'm feeling vulnerable. and depressed.
i play with you. at the end of your string. on the rug by my couch.
i laugh with you. when there is simply nothing better, or more amusing, than that moment's something-or-other.
i sleep with you. in the day. and at night. and whenever else we feel like it.
i sit with you. across the table. holding a book and a latte.
so i'll wait for you. to come back to me. and remind me who i am.

meet me on the other side.